Friday's List: How Listening is Making Me a Better Person

1. I talk less and smile more. Honestly, I probably speak a third fewer words now. Although the volume of words has gone down, the impact of my words has gone up dramatically. Since I talk so much less, I decided to put my mouth to work by smiling more.

2. I ask more questions. In order to understand people better, I ask more questions. This keeps others talking and me listening. I've yet to meet anyone that didn't like talking about himself.

3. I have a clear list of things to improve upon. Three weeks ago I sat down and read my journal noting all the noteworthy things others have said to me. Then I made a list of things that I want to change. It's now over three pages long! Most of the items are small and don't require much effort to change. Here are three I'm currently, consciously, an creatively working on:

• Don't leave a wet towel on the bed after I shower. This drives my wife crazy waking up each morning with a cold towel greeting her. Not cool. I'm getting that towel hung up each morning. 
• When dinner is called, stop what I'm doing and get to the table. I've frequently justified my delay when called because "I'm in the middle of my super, world changing project that I cannot leave." I now realize that's a crock. Here my wife and kids work hard at getting a hot meal on the table only to let it get cold because I don't get there for 5 minutes. Not cool. I'm getting to the table while the food is still hot.
• Put my keys back where they belong every time. I've wasted a good portion of my life looking for keys (amongst other things). Asking my wife each day if she knows where my keys are is not cool. Now, I'm disciplining myself to place them in one of two places: my pocket, or my drawer. I'm spending less time looking for my keys now (as is my wife).

There you have it. Are these earth shattering? Nope. Irritants? Yep. Are the changes making a difference? Absolutely. I want to string together a thousand of these small improvement projects as a result of listening better. Then my wife will no longer need to repetitiously say, "Please, don't leave your wet towel on the bed," "Please, come to the dinner table right away when you are called," and "Please, put your keys where they belong so that I don't have to keep helping you find them."

There you have it. Three ways listening is making me a better man. I'm inching my way towards becoming a superior listener.

What's your list look like?