Stop Listening to Your Own Lies, Part 1

Five years ago this month, I transitioned out of pastoral work and into the marketplace. Leaving a twenty year career behind was quite a challenge. One benefit of changing careers, especially drastically different careers, is that new work often exposes old "self talk" that no longer makes sense.

What do I mean by self talk? Self talk is what you repetitiously say to yourself, but almost never vocalize. You are the only one that hears it. In my case, there was a phrase that I would say to myself as a pastor that kept me from being able to rest. Because my new job had clear boundaries (e.g., clear start and stop times), I was forced to stop. I couldn't keep working. In retrospect, I realized my "self talk" as  pastor was a prison erected in my own mind that kept me on the treadmill of work. That phrase was this,

Don't stop or you will get behind.

I would say that a few times a day to myself. It was like a little devil inside my head goading me to keep working.

One day I stopped and really listened to my self talk and this phrase kept popping up.  I had clocked out for the day at my new job and I couldn't keep working. But, the self talk kept coming at me, "Don't stop or you will get behind." It had this grandfather like tone in my head. Because I was slowing down and listening more to my self talk, I decided to talk back. So I asked a simple question of myself,

Get behind what?

The answer came clearly and immediately. There was NOTHING that I was going to get behind if I stopped working because I was not a slacker. Nothing!

Man, I realized at that point that this mental prison was self imposed! I was my own worst enemy. With that realization a mental curtain was drawn back and I began to see with a new, liberating light. Since then I've challenged this phrase every time it pops up in my head, and I've been freed to relax and rest more. There is no big, bad monster that I'll fall behind if I stop. I don't have a problem working. I have a problem with resting mostly because of recognize my own self talk.

What's your self talk? Slow down and listen to yourself. What phrases pop up? Listen and consider what you say to yourself. Tomorrow we'll talk about other "self talk" phrases often say to themselves that hurt us deeply.

You may find, just like I did, that you've been listening to your own lies.