Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

If there is one mindset that I now embrace on my path to become a superior listener, it is this:

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

I've heard that proverb hundreds of times before. I've even quoted it in talks. Unfortunately, I've never wholeheartedly embraced it. Now I have.

The ability to understand peoples' thoughts, emotions, motivations, and history has become a greater challenge than I thought.  One of the challenges in doing this is speed. Can I quickly understand what people are saying AND what is shaping them as they talk?

I've decided to focus on understanding the emotional component as my highest priority. As a result, I'm asking the question (as I listen), "Are they rested or tired? Happy or sad? Angry or patient? Hungry or content?" By understanding the emotions surrounding their words, I'm able to gain real insight as to why something is being said.

In the next few weeks I hope to develop an emotional listening chart to help me (and you) listen quickly for the emotional cues.


Have a great day, and remember to listen to people's words and the emotions that surround them.