Stop Listening to Your Own Lies, Part 2

Yesterday, I broached the subject of listening to your own lies, or listening to your self-talk. I want to follow up with a few thoughts.

If you catch yourself listening to self-talk that has a power in your life, then what exactly should you do? You either change your thinking (because the thoughts are false), or you change your life (because the thoughts are true).

Here's how I deal with self-talk. 

1. Write down the specific self-talk. In my case, it was the phrase, "Don't talk or you will get behind."

2. Evaluate its truthfulness. Realize, your self-talk may reflect truth that you should be heeding (e.g., "This smoking is going to kill me.")

3. Decide if you should believe it or banish it. If you don't know, talk with a family member, friend, or spiritual mentor.

4. (Believe it). Develop a three-step plan to heed its truth. For example if your self-talk is, "This smoking is going to kill me." Here are my recommended three steps:

• Step 1. Involve another person that can help you quit smoking. Don't go it alone. (Example, your golf buddy).
• Step 2. Get rid of all cigarettes, and stop visiting places where you smoke. For example, stop shopping at the store you buy cigs.
• Step 3. Focus on things that will improve once you stop smoking. Example, sign up for a 5K running race in two months. Start training. One helpful key: replace bad behavior with good behavior.

5. (Banish it). Develop a three-step plan to replace it with truth. For example, "Don't stop or you will get behind." Here are my recommended three steps:

• Step 1. Write down multiple reasons why it is not truth. You need to understand clearly why it is a lie.
• Step 2. Develop a saying that reflects truth. Don't try and banish lies by not thinking about them. Banish lies by focusing on truth.
• Step 3. Involve another person that will help you live the truth. Don't go along. The Lone Ranger always gets shot. In my case, I stopped working and began recreating with my wife and kids. I included acting my way into a new mindset.

By taking these steps to Stop Listening to Your Own Lies, you will find a new liberation. It may be painful to face them, but you will be glad you did.